


Borrowed

by Chelsea072498



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cheating, Jensen Ackles - Freeform, RPF, affair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 12:18:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14135904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: Quick Info- Y/N and Jensen’s affair over time.Word Count- 10K plusWARNINGS!!!- Angst, if you blink maybe once, you’ll catch some fluff, Cheating, cheating cheating. This story is about an affair. There is cheating. There are children in one marriage, though they aren’t really featured much in the story. Harassment, bullying, cheating. Don’t say you weren’t warned.I mean no disrespect to the actors/actresses or families. This is FICTION. It is NOT REAL.





	Borrowed

##  **Borrowed  
Read the warnings!!**

Y/N Y/L/N walked on set and noticed everyone watching her. Jared and Misha saw her waving her over with smiles.

Smiles of sympathy.

“What’s going on?” Y/N asked. She was aware of the whispers and looked nervous. “Guys, did something…”

Jared studied her face. “You don’t know?”

Y/N felt the panic building up. “Don’t know what?”

Misha took her arm and gently pulled her away from everyone else. Jared followed. “Y/N, someone showed up looking for you.”

“What do you mean? Who?” Y/N asked. “You two are freaking me out.”

“Your….husband….ex….” Jared gently rubbed her back. He recognized the signs of Y/N’s panic attack.

Her face drained of color. “Dom’s here?”

“One of the PAs is giving him a tour.” Jared looked around. “He said you knew he was coming.”

“I knew he was coming to Vancouver but told him not to come to set!” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “He’s supposed to finally sign the divorce papers.”

Misha’s brow raised. “Do you think he will?”

“I don’t know. I expect him to fight me on it. I expect him to argue with me about it. We signed prenuptial agreements protecting both of us. I made sure that he couldn’t take anything from me. I made sure I couldn’t take anything from him. We have never shared expenses, we’ve barely lived together. The only reason he has to stay married is to keep me from being able to move on and be happy.”

Jared saw the PA enter with him. Y/N turned and saw his smile.

“Hello, Love,” Dominic Monaghan was not who she thought he was. She’d been young and stupid and impulsive. She honestly had no idea what his excuse for their miserable marriage was.

“Why are you here?” Y/N folded her arms across her chest. “I told you not to come here!”

Dom shrugged. “Do I ever listen?” She wanted to punch the cocky smile off his face.

Y/N shook her head. “I’m here to work, Dom. I don’t have time for your immature antics. Please, leave.”

“It’s been a long time since I watched you in action.” He saw someone else join them on set. “Jensen! It’s been a long time.”

Jensen froze. “Dom, hey.” His eyes went to Y/N. “I never expected to see you here.”

“I wanted to see my wife.” he put emphasis on the last word. “It’s so rare we’re ever on the same continent, yet alone in the same time zone.”

“I prefer it that way.” Y/N mumbled. “Dom, leave.”

“I’ll wait in your trailer.” He knew he was pushing her buttons now. He didn’t care. This was a game to him.

“No, you won’t.” She saw Clif standing close by. “I’ll call you when I finish for the day and we can meet up to sign the divorce papers.”

Dom laughed. “Oh, right. You want a divorce. I thought we’d talk about that.” His eyes moved to Jensen. “I think you may come around to my side of things.”

“Dom, leave.” Y/N watched him exit and apologized to everyone. “I’m sorry. I underestimated how stupid he is.”

“What’s he doing here?” Jensen asked. He was not happy to have a distraction on set.

“We’re going to sign the divorce papers.” She looked into his eyes. “He’s going to sign the papers. He promised my brother he would.”

“Right.” Jensen nodded and turned to talk to the director about the scene they were about to film.

The next two hours, they worked hard until the director called it for the night. Y/N went straight to her trailer and washed her makeup off. She changed before wardrobe knocked to get her character’s outfit. Y/N grabbed her bag and was ready to leave when she heard the knock.

“Hey,” She let him in. “I’m going to take care of this…”

Her visitor kissed her passionately. She dropped her bag and let him pick her up. He made his way to the bed in the back on the trailer and gently laid her down. “I’m coming to your apartment tonight. Deal with Dom first please.” He didn’t want to wait though. He wanted her in that moment. Y/N gently pushed him away. She knew this was his way of claiming her. He had nothing to worry about.

“I will.” Y/N promised with a smile. “I have something really special planned.”

“You think he’ll sign the papers?” Jensen Ackles looked into her eyes “Y/N, he doesn’t love you. He loved the control he had at one point in time.”

She nodded. “I know that. It’s done and over with. It has been for a long time.” Y/N moved to his lap. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Jensen kissed her again. “Babe, I need to take care of a few things and then I’m heading to your place. Deal with him.”

Y/N nodded, but her heart felt heavy as she watched him leave. Jensen was incredible. He was sweet, patient, loving, and he was more affectionate with her than anyone else, except maybe his daughter. Jared told her all the time that he was glad Jensen had her. Jensen was not perfect and she accepted that. Y/N had to accept that from the start.

Jensen also had a wife in Austin, Texas.

The affair was never supposed to start. They had a scene that Y/N was having trouble with. Dean and Sadie, Y/N’s character, were to make love for the first time. It was a very passionate scene, Dean Winchester’s first true declaration of love toward someone who wasn’t part of his family. Jensen took it in stride.

Y/N agonized over it.

She knew by then she was in love with her costar.

They’d met years before when they were both working in soaps. They saw each other around town at different events and award shows and hung out sometimes with other friends. She’d always had a crush on him, but when she came on Supernatural, something changed between them. They were friends and they spent a lot of time together, but Y/N felt something for him she’d never felt for anyone in her life.

Jensen offered to talk her through the scene and they agreed to meet at her apartment. She drank too much wine in an attempt to relax and while running lines, a kiss between their characters went too far. Jensen pulled away first.

“We’re both married.”

“I’m not though,” She finally said the words she’d hidden from the world. She realized later it was the wine that made her lips loose. “We had a week of wedded bliss before he started cheating on me.”

“I’ve got JJ.” Jensen’s face always lit up when he mentioned his beautiful baby girl.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N jumped up. “It won’t happen again.”

Jensen moved behind her and turned her around. “That’s just it.” He kissed her. “I want it to.”

They got through their love scene the next day but never spoke of that night. She convinced herself that it was a night full of more wine than they realized and it was amazing and beautiful, but would never happen again.

Y/N had to decide whether she was going to stay on the show or move on. She loved the character, the people she worked with, and Vancouver. Seeing Jensen everyday was killing her slowly. She knew she’d made a mistake and regretted the loss of their friendship.

Jensen came to her and asked her why she hadn’t signed the contract. “It’s a good deal, Y/N!”

“I can’t be around you without thinking about that night.” She tearfully confessed. “I want what I can’t have.”

“I know that feeling.” Jensen touched her cheeks tenderly. “Damn it, Y/N/N. I don’t love her anymore. I love my daughter, but I fell out of love with my wife a long time ago.”

Y/N looked down. “I don’t want to be the other woman.”

“You aren’t.” Jensen promised. “You’re the only woman.”

They kept everything a secret for a year. Jared and Misha discovered them together after a particularly crazy night in Rome. Y/N was embarrassed and ashamed. She saw Jared’s anger and Misha’s relief. He told her later he was relieved that she and Jensen stopped fighting what he knew was there from the start.

Jared took longer to come around. He considered Danneel a friend, even though he knew she wasn’t the kindest woman. Jensen was his best friend but he believed in marriage. He understood Y/N’s position. She was still trying to get a divorce.

Eventually, Jared spoke to both of them. He admitted he told his wife. She promised not to tell Danneel and confided in Jared that Danneel had been cheating on Jensen since JJ was a few months old. Jared wanted to be happy for them but he had concerns. He was worried about what Danneel might do if she learned the truth. He worried about how the fandom would react if they found out.

“We keep it quiet.” Jensen hated that. He looked at Jared and took a deep breath. “I’m going to talk to Danneel. I’m not telling her anything about Y/N. Not yet. Eventually I won’t have a choice.” He looked at the woman next to him.  “I’m going to divorce Danneel and marry Y/N. I just want to make sure that I do it right. I don’t want to give Dee anything she can use against me later.”

Few people knew. They enjoyed their time together and got through the days they were apart. Y/N suspected something was wrong after Jensen came back from a week in Austin and was distant. He didn’t want to make love, he barely touched her, and he seemed angry when she tried to talk to him.

Months passed and things did not improve. He finally broke down and confessed everything to her. He and Danneel had too much to drink one night and slept together.

She was pregnant with twins.

Y/N took the news better than he expected. She held him as he cried, cried a little herself, but she knew what this meant. Jensen always felt guilty and worried about what their affair would do to JJ if she ever learned the truth. He would soon have three children to worry about. Y/N considered ending things then. It would have made things far easier for both of them in the long run.

She was in too deep at that point.

Dom was giving Y/N a hard time. He long suspected something was going on with Y/N and Jensen and refused to sign the papers. She convinced him to come to Vancouver and just get it over with. She knew the truth. If Dom was divorced, one of the girls he carried on with would expect him to marry her. He didn’t want that. Y/N provided him protection from having to commit to someone who might actually want to hang onto him.

She sat in the early evening waiting for him to arrive. Y/N wasn’t going to fight with him. She had an idea of what might speak to him.

She was going to offer to give him money to fund a nature documentary he wanted to make.

~*~

Jensen called Danneel to talk to JJ. He missed his baby girl so much. He wished he could have her with him most often, but that would mean Danneel would be around and he couldn’t handle that.

There was no answer so he hung up and decided he’d try again before he got to Y/N’s.

Y/N. Just thinking about her brought a calmness over him. He loved her. Jensen truly loved her. He wanted to marry her. He had considered calling Dom and asking to meet to talk, but he knew he had to let Y/N handle her ex this time.

Jensen wandered into the jewelry store and looked at the rings. He couldn’t buy her the one he wanted but he picked out a simple ring with a gold rose. He thought about how simple her tastes were compared to Danneel’s. Y/N didn’t want expensive gifts. She just wanted him.

Jensen feared that he wasn’t going to be enough for her.

~*~

Dom arrived and for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t his usual cheeky self. He sat down and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.”

“Excuse me?”

Dom looked around. “I know you and I don’t have a chance in hell. I knew that years ago.” He smiled. “You were just so different.”

“So were you.” Y/N took his hand. “You and I were friends. We thought we had more.”

“Somedays I wish we could go back to that time and make it work or just stick it out as friends.”

“We can’t. Maybe one day we can be friends.” Y/N offered. “Everything else between us is over.”

Dom took a deep breath. “I’m not signing the divorce papers. Not yet.”

“Wh…what?”

“Do you love him?” Dom asked gently. “It’s obvious that he feels very deeply for you.”

Y/N’s eyes darkened. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Your affair with Jensen.” Dom saw her eyes. “Y/N, I’m not going to say anything. Give me some credit.”

“If you know, then why would you not sign the papers?”

“Is he leaving his pregnant wife?” Dom asked. He put his hand up. “I’m not asking to be a pratt, Y/N. I’m asking as an old friend.”

Y/N looked down. “He planned to and then they spent the night together. Jensen never intended to stay married to her but when her pregnancy came out, he knew he couldn’t leave her until after she has the babies.”

“Will he?” Dom asked.

Y/N shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. Probably not in the first month of their lives but eventually he’s not going to be able to live that lie anymore.”

Dom nodded. “He’ll have to make a decision.”

“There’s no reason for you not to sign the papers.” Y/N said. “We’ve both agreed that this is over. Why carry on the charade?”

“I’ll sign the papers when Jensen leaves his wife and files for divorce.” Dom promised. “There’s a chance that if you aren’t available, he’ll do it faster.”

“Dominic, this isn’t funny!” Y/N balled her fists. “That sounds like an excuse you would come up with!”

“No,” Dom agreed with her. “It isn’t funny. Jensen may love you. He may do the right thing eventually. If he doesn’t know what he really wants, if he decides that the fallout could be too much, he won’t divorce her. Fear of what could be out there, fear of what he may have to face could take over.”

“You’re speaking from experience, aren’t you?”

Dom nodded. “It took me a long time to get to this point, Love. I think we need to divorce, but I hope like hell if I wait a little longer, he’ll leave his wife. I hope like hell you’ll call me one day and tell me it’s time.”

“I don’t agree with this.” Y/N said. “Our marriage has been a joke for years, to everyone. It would be better for both of us to just end it quietly.”

“I’ll sign the papers when he signs the papers.” Dom kissed her cheek. “I’ll let you get to it, Y/N. Call me. Even if it’s just to talk.”

“I will.” Y/N sat as he settled their bill and they walked out together. For the first time in many years, they shared a hug as they went their separate ways.

She arrived at her apartment before Jensen. It was seven and she was sure he’d be there by then. She called his phone but he didn’t answer. Sighing, Y/N started cooking their dinner. They weren’t needed on set the next day so she was hoping they’d enjoy their dinner, spend some time soaking in her huge tub, and then relax for the next day and a half.

Jensen wandered in around eight thirty. He looked tired, stressed, but smiled when he saw her cooking. “Hey,” his voice was soft, hands resting gently on her denim clad hips, kissing her neck. “I’m glad to see you, Baby.”

“Hey,” she turned in his grasp, her hands resting on his covered biceps. “So…Dom and I had a good talk. Not the outcome I wanted, but not the knock down drag out I expected.”

“Really?”

“He’s agreed to a divorce when you get one.” Y/N took a deep breath. “He seems to think that if I’m available, you won’t do it.”

Jensen nodded, his tongue flicking out to wet his top lip. “I guess that makes sense. I know other guys who have pulled that same stunt.”

“I told him that we just needed to get it over with. Even if you don’t leave Danneel, I deserve to have my life back.”

“You don’t think I’ll leave her?”

Y/N shrugged, her delicate fingers sliding down to Jensen’s elbows. “I don’t know, Jen. I don’t know what I think anymore. I love you. I want to be with you. You’re married.”

“So are you.” Jensen was defensive. “Neither of us are innocent here.”

“I never said I was.” She sighed. “This is such a fucked up situation.” Y/N pushed Jensen away to make some room as she turned around and took the chicken from the oven. “Did you take care of everything?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nodded. “You know this summer is going to be hard for her, right? I can’t take weekend trips with her pregnant.”

Y/N nodded. “We have conventions. There’s a couple of other things we have to do.”

“We’ll have Rome.” Jensen smiled. “We always have Rome.”

She nodded. “It’s just until July. When we come back here, things will be the way they were.”

“Until December.” Jensen reminded her. “She’s scheduled her c-section for the beginning of the month. I’ll go home and stay until the convention the next weekend. I’ll finish up what I need to before the break and have some extra time after Christmas.”

“Right.” Y/N nodded. “You’ll probably want to go home more too.”

“Yeah.” Jensen had to tell her everything. “Gino, Danneel, and I are opening the brewery. We talked about it before but lately, I think it might not be a bad idea. I think it’s a way for the kids to be taken care of. Danneel and Gino have been pushing it forever. I want to do it, but obviously I’ll have to bow out at some point.”

“Why?” Y/N asked. “You’re fronting the money, aren’t you?”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“It’s true though. Gino tried and couldn’t make a brewery work. You’ve finally agreed to give them the money for this. You have incredible ideas, Jen. Don’t let them take all the credit for this.”

“Do you really think Dee is going to let me have any part of it if we do get divorced?” Jensen asked. He was getting upset.

Y/N apologized and tried to calm herself down. “If you have something drawn up by attorneys, and signed, she won’t have a choice.”

Jensen let it go for the time being. “The food smells delicious.”

“Thanks.” Y/N knew he didn’t want to discuss it anymore. They talked about the last few scenes left to film for the season. They talked about the photo ops being added to the conventions. Jensen asked if she’d consider singing with him again and she agreed.

He slipped the ring on her finger after they finished eating and cleaned the kitchen. “This will have to do for now.”

It was the first piece of jewelry he’d ever bought for her. It was beautiful and simple. “I love it.”

“One day,” Jensen kissed her softly, his palms smoothing up and down her back. “I’m going to replace that with an engagement ring.”

“One day,” Y/N smiled as she kissed him back, “I’m going to accept that ring and drag your ass to Vegas!”

They spent most of the night making love and slept in until after two. Jensen woke first to a dozen missed calls. His heart sank when he saw the texts.

_JJ and I are in Vancouver. Where are you?_

~*~

Y/N spent the next year of her life wondering if she was in a relationship.

Danneel knew there was another woman, but it wasn’t until after the twins were born that she suspected Y/N. She never liked her. She always thought that her husband’s friendship with her was too familiar, but she’d never suspected that Jensen would cheat on her with Y/N. Jensen had to be careful for weeks and tiptoe around Danneel.

Y/N decided she owed it to Danneel to call her. She’d never go to Austin unannounced but she knew that she owed her an apology despite how Jensen felt about her.

“I’m surprised you called me.” Danneel sounded annoyed as she answered the phone. “I can’t imagine what you would have to say to me.”

“I’m sorry.” Y/N started. “I fell in love with your husband but that didn’t give me the right to have any relationship other than friendship.”

Danneel was quiet for a moment. “I knew he had feelings for you years ago. He promised me when you were hired that he didn’t. He swore you two were friends. Hell, I was convinced you were going to end up working things out with your hobbit.”

  
“Dom and I were over long before I came on the show.” Y/N took a deep breath. “He’s your husband, Danneel. I love him, but I can’t have what you do. You’re his wife, you’re the mother of his children….”

“You’re the one he loves.” Danneel sounded bitter. “I’ve made my own mistakes but that’s just it. Jensen and I can move past all of this. We’ll always have each other. You’ll end up all alone and you’ll be miserable. Just watch yourself, Honey. I have no real reason to say anything public. I’m not stupid. If I attack you at all, Jensen will never forgive me. Just be careful. If you and Jensen end up staying together through this, which I seriously don’t see happening, I would hate to see the way the fans react. They can be very unforgiving.”

“I’m more concerned about the kids. I never wanted to hurt your kids, Danneel.” Y/N cried. “I really never…”

“I believe that.” Danneel actually smiled on her end. “You aren’t a cold hearted bitch. That’s part of why he loves you. I have no doubt that you felt more guilt about how this would impact my children than anything else. Don’t worry about the kids, Y/N. You’ll never be in their lives. You’ll never need to worry about them.”

~*~

Jensen sang to JJ and the babies before looking in the room he once shared with Danneel. “Do you need anything?”

“Y/N called.”

“She…what?”

“I don’t get her, really. You’ll be back in Vancouver soon enough.”

Jensen knew Y/N. “She didn’t call to start trouble.”

Danneel finally conceded. “No, she didn’t.” Danneel took a deep breath. “Jensen, she loves you.”

“I told you how I feel about her.” He moved to the edge of the bed. “Dee, this isn’t working for us. I love the kids. I love the kids more than anyone or anything, but we can’t stay married.”

“I don’t want to stay married.” Danneel told him. “Jay, there’s someone else. He’s been in the picture for awhile.”

“Really?” Jensen looked back at her. “You gave me hell for Y/N and you…” He paused. “They’re mine, aren’t there? The twins…”

“Yes.” Danneel nodded. ‘He’s…his wife was diabetic. She almost died giving birth to their son. He had a vasectomy to prevent anything from happening. She died a year later.”

Jensen took a deep breath. “How long?”

“JJ was about three months old.” Danneel cried. “I’m sorry. I should have told you. I have been honest..”

“We wouldn’t have the twins though.” Jensen looked at her, his lips turned downward in seriousness and sincerity. “Dee, I want out.”

“So do I,” She took his hand. “I love him. I want to marry him.”

“I’ll find an attorney.” Jensen stood up. “You and Y/N will need to talk. Face to face.”

“Wh…what? Why?”

“I’m going to marry her. She needs to meet the children and she’s said that until she has a chance to talk to you, she won’t do that.”

Danneel shrugged. “I’m not ready for that.”

“Right.” Jensen shook his head. “I’ll let you know when she is.”

~*~

Y/N called Dom a few days later and told him that she was through. “I love a man who can’t give me anything but a broken heart and a lot of grief.” Jensen had learned about her call to Danneel and was furious.

Dom was working in Asia, shooting his documentary series. He promised that when he returned stateside, they’d sit down and work out the details of their divorce. “You deserve your freedom, Y/N.”

The night they finished the season finale, Y/N was packing for a trip home. She stayed in Vancouver most of the time. She was happy there. People didn’t bother her and she found a house she planned to move into over the hiatus. She and Jensen had never discussed it, but she knew their relationship was over. She wanted to take the time before their first convention of the summer and rest.

She ordered dinner and heard the doorbell. She was shocked to see Jensen standing on the other side of the door.

“What are you doing here?” He hadn’t been to her place in weeks. The last time he’d come, it had been after midnight and he snuck out before seven the next morning. “I thought coming here wasn’t a good idea.”

“We have to talk.” He walked in and she looked outside to make sure no one saw him. The delivery girl stepped off the elevator a few seconds later and Y/N signed for the food.

“I got enough for a few days so help yourself.” She told him. “I fly out on Tuesday to go home.”

Jensen took the food and set it down. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her for what felt like the first time in a very long time. “I can’t do this without you.”

“Your wife made it clear that you and I are to stay away from each other.” Y/N reminded him. “I know she threatened you, Jen. I know she told you she’d take your kids away…”

“She’s got someone else.” Jensen said. “She has since JJ was born. He’s older.”

“She’s been having an affair?”

Jensen nodded. “She ended up telling me because he wants to move to Austin. He wants to build her a house and buy her horses and she wants that.”

“What about the kids?”

“We’re working that out. The twins are mine by the way. He can’t have kids.”

Y/N nodded. “I never suspected otherwise. They look like you, Babe.”

“Call Dom. You’re going to need that divorce.” He smiled at her. “We’re going to get our happy ending, Y/N/N.”

Y/N bit her lip. “Are you sure she’s not going to fight you on this? Are you sure she’s not going to  change her mind later and decide she doesn’t want to do it?”

Jensen pulled her to him. “I filed for divorce. I’m not staying married to her any longer.” He kissed her again. “Y/N, I love you. I want to marry you.”

“I love you.” She felt tears come to her eyes as the food on the counter was forgotten and he made love to her for the first time in months.

He flew out a few days later to spend time with his children and discuss the business he was still going to be a part of. He told Y/N that he wanted to buy a house in Austin for the two of them. He told her that he wanted her to meet his kids. She knew Danneel would throw a fit but told him he couldn’t wait. She knew he loved his children more than anything and she couldn’t wait to see Jensen with them.

~*~

She knew by the time they went to the convention in Arizona that Danneel did not want her around the kids and was going to make sure that Jensen had to wait a very long time before he could introduce them.

Jensen made every excuse he could, but Y/N wasn’t stupid. Dom was still traveling the world and was impossible to get a hold of. She emailed, called her brother, and was determined to have her own divorce settled soon. Y/N was having doubts. Again. She just hoped that maybe once the divorces were final, once Danneel knew that Jensen was truly done, they could all move on and maybe find a way to peacefully coexist for the children.

~*~

Saturday Night Special was suppose to be fun and it turned into a nightmare.

“You like it?” Jensen asked the audience. There was a loud cheer. He ran his hands over the beard and then shrugged. “I don’t know!”

“What does Y/N think?” Someone on stage asked. She turned her head toward Jensen. Only a few people knew they were dating. Everyone who knew was told not to say anything yet.

Jensen took it in stride. “Hey, Y/N, you have to sing this song with me. What do you think of the beard?”

She hoped she wasn’t blushing. Jensen knew how she felt about the beard. “It’s okay.”

Jensen’s brow raised. “That’s not what you said earlier.”

Richard sensed Y/N’s discomfort and tried to move things along. “Okay, that’s our cue to start the next song.”

Jensen shook his head, a smile on his lips. “Come on, Y/N. Come over here.”

She walked to him and smiled at the crowd. “What are you doing?”

“I’m done hiding.” Jensen looked into her eyes. The audience picked up on what was happening, as did those on stage who knew nothing. “My beautiful girlfriend told me earlier that she,” He paused. He was outing them before they planned to go public and he knew she’d be mad about that. “She said she thought I looked good.”

“You…you do.” Y/N saw the glares from some of the women in the audience. She turned to Rob and Rich and gave them a look.

“Without further delay, Y/N is going to join Jensen for this next song.”

Backstage, Jared shook his head. “She wasn’t ready.”

“He’s not divorced yet.”

“Danneel already hates her!”

Jared knew that his best friend had just put a huge target on Y/N’s back.

Y/N walked away from the crowd and took a few deep breaths. She felt his hands on her shoulder and turned around. “What the hell were you thinking?!”

“My divorce will be final soon.” Jensen smiled at her. “You and I don’t have to hide.”

“Did you not catch that? The glares, the whispers….I’m so glad I left my phone upstairs. I’m positive social media is blowing up right now.”

“Y/N, calm down.” Jensen actually laughed. “I love you and you love me. We’re together…”

“We are, but Danneel hates me. I don’t want her to keep your children from you because of me.” Y/N was fighting tears. “I don’t want all the people out there who look at you as a hero to doubt that you are a good person.”

“If they are true fans, if they care about me as much as they claim, they’ll be happy for me. They’ll be happy that the two of us were able to find something beautiful and magical after everything else.” Jensen kissed her. “Babe, trust me.”

“I do. I’m just worried.” Y/N saw Jared watching them with Misha, both concerned. She took a deep breath. “Tomorrow is going to be a really long day. I had a lot today. I have a lot tomorrow.”

Jensen nodded. “I thought we’d order room service and get some sleep. I rescheduled our flight for Tuesday morning.”

“You did what?”

“We’re going to Austin.” Jensen smiled as he lowered his forehead to hers. “You’re going to meet my kids.”

~*~

Sunday morning came too soon. Y/N woke and ordered breakfast. Jensen showered as she waited for the food to arrive. They ate together before she had to leave for her early morning photo ops. They normally didn’t stay in the same hotel as the convention if they could help it. They normally didn’t sleep in the same room but Jensen convinced her the night before that it didn’t matter anymore.

Y/N hoped she looked better than she felt. A convention volunteer led her to the photo op room and she was surprised by the cheers.

The one lone “Homewrecker!” was not a surprise.

Chris gave her a hug as soon as he saw her. “You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I saw your face, Y/N/N. Jensen didn’t really think that through, did he?”

Y/N sighed. “Nope. He didn’t.”

Soon they were ready and she smiled at the first person in line. The girl, maybe sixteen, smiled back.

“You and Jensen are so cute together!” The girl told her.

“Thank you.” They hugged for the photo and the next group walked up with a sign. Two of the girls looked very uncomfortable. They held up their sign.

“Team Y/N.” She smiled. “What’s that one say?”

She fought to keep her smile when she saw Team Danneel written on it.

“What are we doing for this one?” She stopped Chris and the convention workers from coming up. Her mother always told her. You reap what you sow.

“They’re going to protect you and we’re going to flip you off.” One of the other girls told her.

“We don’t hate you but Danneel is Queen.”

“Of course.” Y/N nodded. “Okay, let’s do this.”

The two members of her team apologized and she told them it was okay. The next several people apologized and told her that they hope she and Jensen were happy. The line seemed longer than usual.

Toward the end, she noticed more signs. Her heart filled with dread when she saw what some of them said. Y/N wasn’t sure what to do.

A volunteer saw them and took them. She said they could pose for a picture but they weren’t holding the signs up. Several left the line and took their signs with them. Several gathered together, Y/N was sure to find a way to still get a picture that made her look bad. A few looked relieved.

The first of that group smiled at her. “I’m sorry. My friends are really upset.”

“This wasn’t the way we wanted to tell people. Lots of announcements to come.” Y/N thanked her and waited for the next person. This girl put her hand over Y/N’s face. “Okay, so much better.”

Chris took the picture after Y/N nodded. The next ten people flipped her off, covered her face, and one even managed to call her a whore before walking off. Only a few remained and she smiled and thanked them before turning to see Clif.

“Boss told me to stick with you.” Clif was loyal to Jensen and was the only person who knew about their relationship for months.

He escorted her out of the photo op room and she knew that Jensen and Jared would be heading to the gold panel soon. “Is Jen with Jared?”

“Yeah, you need him?” Clif asked.

“Please.” She was shaking. Clif was told that there’d been some signs and he’d seen a few people flip her off.

Jensen was looking for something on the dresser when Clif opened the door. She rushed across the room and into his arms. “They hate me.”

“What?” Jensen looked at Clif. The expression on the bodyguard’s face told Jensen he’d been wrong about how Y/N would be treated. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t everyone. A lot though.” Y/N told him about the signs. She told him about the pictures.

“Chris didn’t stop it?” Jensen asked.

“I didn’t ask him to. Someone caught the signs before they got to me. A bunch of those people walked out with their signs.” Y/N took a deep breath. “I have my next photo op after Jared’s. That’s with you.” Y/N bit her lip. “It’s sold out as of this morning.”

Jensen nodded. “I was hoping that was a good sign.”

Clif spoke up. “I’ll be there. I’ll walk down the hall and make sure no one has any signs…”

“Guys, I don’t like this but signs are a part of the photos. Most signs aren’t that bad…”

“Most signs aren’t calling people names.” Jared spoke up.

Jensen kissed her softly. “I’ll be back before my ops start. I love you.”

“I love you.” She smiled and watched him leave. As they slipped out of the door, Rob and Richard slipped in.

“You okay?” Rob asked.

Y/N shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m still processing that my boyfriend decided to announce we were together before he announced that he was getting a divorce. It’s not just on him though. I played a role in all of this too.”

“Did you really call Danneel?” Rob asked.

“Over a year ago. I called because I wanted her to know that I never set out to hurt her or her kids. I was wrong to act on my feelings. She told me that they were through long before I came into the picture but they had a second chance. I tried to back off. He didn’t call me often, we only talked when we were on set or on stage together. For a year, I held on to something that I knew was wrong.”

“His divorce will be final soon. Your husband will sign the papers, won’t he?”

“Eventually.” Y/N checked her email. “He’ll be back in the states next week. He said he’ll call me and we’ll start getting things going.”

They stayed until Jensen returned. She hugged and thanked them before kissing her boyfriend. “Dom said we’ll start everything next week.”

“He probably saw twitter.” Jensen looked defeated. “Danneel handled things with more class than I expected. Someone tweeted pictures from last night, and a video of me calling you my girlfriend. She said she wished us luck and happiness and said that divorce has been good for our kids and us.”

“I didn’t deserve even that.” Y/N sat on the bed. “How did the panel go?”

“Lots of questions. I said that my marriage and the divorce were off limits. I told them that you and I were friends for a long time and one day, we both knew things with our spouses were truly over and we got closer. I had to spin it some, obviously.”

“Yeah.” There was a knock and she knew it was time for him to go. “I have my meet and greet during your op with Jared.”

“I’ll meet you back here after that and we’ll relax until the rest of our ops. Will you get us some food?”

“Of course.”

~*~

The photo ops flew by. They learned that many had sold their pictures with them and many more wanted pictures with the new couple. Y/N had an op with Jensen, Jared, and Misha, plus one with Jensen and Jared before the panels. Almost everyone was respectful. A few weren’t, but she and Jensen took it all in stride.

When it was time for her panel, she walked on stage and waved to the crowd. She was well aware of the loud boos and also aware that a second group was trying to out scream them. Eventually everyone calmed down and she and Rob joked back and forth a little before they left her to it.

“Hey, everyone.” Y/N was shaking and she was sure everyone could see it. “There’s a lot of questions to answer so let’s jump to it.” She turned to her right. “Hey, Sweetheart, how are you?”

“Hi, Y/N. How do you feel about what Danneel said on twitter?”

Y/N saw Clif step closer but she smiled. “I only know about one post she made and that was wishing us well. Obviously a lot happens that only a few people see. I appreciate Danneel’s well wishes and I really want her to be happy. The most important thing is that we can all come together for the kids and show them that we all love them and can work together to make sure that they have the best lives they can have.”

The girl thanked her and moved to her seat. Y/N turned to the other side. “Hey there.”

“How does your husband feel about this?”

Y/N thought about her answer. “I don’t know what Dom thinks half the time. We are friends. We are on good terms. He wants what’s best for me, I want what’s best for him. Our divorce will be final pretty soon,” As soon as we file, she added silently, “but I’m pretty sure we’ll always be in each other’s lives.”

The next question was harder, but still not as bad as she expected. “How do you and Jensen plan to handle the backlash from the fandom? I’m really happy for you two, but obviously, there will be those who say things….that aren’t too nice.”

“Honestly, we knew people might jump to conclusions. People will believe what they want to believe. Jensen and I were really good friends for a long time. This isn’t something that just happened. This isn’t something either of us expected but it happened at the right time for both of us.”

The next person asked. “When was the right time? Last week, last year? When Danneel was pregnant with the twins?”

Clif moved quickly. The staff informed the person asking the question that she would not answer. Y/N shook her head, prepared to answer the question, but they escorted the person out. There was cheers of support but all Y/N heard were the boos and the name calling.

“Wait a minute!” Y/N put her hand up. “Jensen and I deserve some privacy. Not to hide anything anyone may think we did wrong, but because there are things that we want to keep private…”

“Sounds like something a homewrecker would say.” The person at the other mic said before walking off.

The next person didn’t hold back. “You’re a whore. Jensen was happily married and you wormed your way into the middle of his marriage.”

Someone else screamed, “Are you sleeping with Jared and Misha too?”

“How the hell can you stand to look at yourself in the mirror?”

Y/N felt panic build up as she tried to find a focus point and speak. “I…”

Someone managed to get to the microphone. “You are disgusting! You are such a slut!”

Before Y/N could react, Clif was next to her. He pulled her up and got her off stage. She shook her head. “I have time left…”

“No, you don’t.” Clif said. “Damn it. I love that guy, but he should have kept his mouth shut.”

Backstage, Rob and Rich met her immediately. “You okay? Need anything?”

“I need to finish my panel!” Y/N said. “I have to finish my panel and then autos are later and then…”

“You’re finished.” One of the staff members approached her. “For your own safety, you’ll need to go back to your room and stay there..”

“Wh…what?” Y/N saw Jensen and Jared coming out of the green room. “I need to talk to Jensen.”

“No, you don’t.” The woman grabbed her arm and led her away. “It’s no secret that I don’t like you but I like Jensen and I have a feeling that if we don’t take care of this now, he won’t resign.”

“I have a panel to finish.” Y/N told her. “I have twenty minutes left. I don’t have to take questions. I can tell set stories or talk about my character. If I don’t go back out there, that’s going to make it worse.”

“Let her.” Misha was next to her. “I heard what was happening and rushed over. Let Y/N do it. I’ll go out there to distract if I have to.”

Y/N didn’t wait for an answer. She grabbed the mic and walked back on the stage. “I’m just going to talk for twenty minutes since the guys aren’t quite ready.”

She was surprised by the standing ovation she received. The boos and name calling were still loud, but Y/N wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction.

“My first day on set was the most embarrassing, but best day I’ve ever had on any set. I came to set, prepared. I had my script memorized. I was ready to walk in there and play Sadie for everything she was worth.” Y/N paused. “I get to set and they tell me there’s been some major changes and that the script was rewritten. That happens. Not big deal, really. I look at this new script and I learn that my character is being introduced to Sam and Dean while she’s handcuffed to a bed frame dressed like something out of a Cyndi Lauper video.”

The crowd laughed. She saw some of the people who’d held signs up earlier and flipped her off in the photos smiling. “I’ve been doing this acting thing for a long time so I go with it. I go through makeup, get my hair fixed, everyone is really friendly and the wardrobe girls are showing me these really cute dresses they found from the 80s. I’m ready and this PA shows up to walk me to set. This kid can’t be more than twenty two, twenty three, and he didn’t say anything to me. He just stared at me. I thought ‘Okay, Y/N. You’re about to start this new role and you are going to look ridiculous,’ but I was okay with that. It’s Supernatural.”

She saw the members of Louden Swain on stage relaxing. “I get to set. Someone handcuffs me to the bed frame. At this point, I’m waiting for Robert Singer, who was directing. I’m expecting Jensen, Jared, Misha, and Mark, since this scene including all of them. It’s just me, this PA who is looking at me like I’m from another planet, and a couple of prop guys. A few minutes later, here comes everyone. Misha and Mark freeze. They both look absolutely horrified. Jensen and Jared stand there, completely serious. Robert Singer looks at me and says, ‘I think you got had.’ At that point Jensen and Jared start laughing hysterically. Someone lets me out of the cuffs and I’m told to go back and change.” She laughed. “Into the now infamous bikini that I hate and hope to one day burn.”

She turned to grab water and saw Jensen watching her with a proud smile. She winked. Rob and Richard came out and they joked for the next several minutes before the band played her off.

Jensen grabbed her. “I’m sorry.”

“You really didn’t think things would go this way. We just need to figure out exactly what we’re going to say because we have to say something more than the little tidbits we’ve let out here.” Y/N kissed him. “I’ll wait back here and I can go to your photo ops with you.” She saw a few people’s brow raise. “We can’t hide forever, babe.”

Jensen looked like he wanted to say something. Y/N’s meet and greet had been moved to later in the day because another guest had to leave. “You have your meet and greet during the op with Misha and Jared.”

“If it hasn’t been cancelled.” Y/N shrugged. “Do you really not want me around?”

“I just don’t want you exposed to anything else.”

Y/N wanted to snap at him that it was his fault this had happened in the first place, but she kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Babe.”

“I hope they take it easy on you.”

~*~

They were back on set and things were tense. Y/N and Jensen were barely speaking except when the script called for it. No one missed the fact that they weren’t staying in one trailer.

“You want to talk about it?” Misha asked her.

“No, not really.” Y/N was fighting tears. Everything had changed after the convention. Danneel called during autos to tell Jensen that JJ was in the hospital. He’d stayed in Austin for two weeks helping with the children. The next time they saw each other, he told her that Danneel ended things with the other man and wanted a chance to fix their marriage.

Jensen swore that it was over between them, but he flew back to Austin more often. She asked when they were going to look for a home there and he delayed it. Y/N’s house in Vancouver was too big and felt too empty so she sold it on a whim and got another small apartment close to the studio.

It was almost November and Y/N was divorced. Dom kept his promise and was able to speed things along for them. Y/N told Jensen a few weeks earlier that she was divorced. She hadn’t pushed him about his. She knew it was final, but he hadn’t said anything.

“It’s over with him.” Y/N whispered to Misha. “We haven’t said the words, but it’s over.”

“You’re sure?” Misha asked.

She nodded. “We barely talk anymore. Last night, he crawled into bed and we…” She stopped. “It was amazing, but he was a million miles away.”

“He loves you.”

Y/N shook her head. “He loved me. I believe that. I believe Jensen loved me. He stopped at some point, or maybe he never did.” She saw his eyes watching her, the small smile on his lips. “I love him but I can’t live like this. I knew things would be rough but I had to delete all my social media. I can’t go anywhere without someone calling me a whore. We couldn’t go out on a date without people throwing things at me.”

Misha touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I wish things had been different.”

“Trust me, I do too.”

“Y/N, can we talk for a few minutes?” Robert Singer appeared. He looked upset.

Jensen started walking toward them, but Jared grabbed him. Y/N knew. She knew what was happening and began crying before they reached the office.

“I’m sorry. I fought. I told them it doesn’t impact the show…”

Y/N disagreed. “It does. I’m sorry, Bob.”

“You and Jensen are adults. Whatever happened, you were being mostly discreet. His announcement at the convention was a surprise to a lot of people, including you.”

“He didn’t know things would go that way.” She defended him.

Bob nodded. “Y/N, they canceled all of your convention appearances after that. You’ve filmed three episodes so far this season and you are only slated for two more.” He paused. “Were.” She’d originally been scheduled for fifteen episode before the network cut it.

“Is this it? This week?” She asked. Her heart was broken. She loved the show. She loved this character and the job.

“I’m sorry. I fought for you. I always will.” Bob touched her shoulders. “I don’t know what’s going on with the two of you, but you both have decisions to make.”

“I’ve made mine.” She told him. “It’s actually a good thing that I was fired. I need some time for me. I need time to regroup.”

He hugged her. “You’re a good woman. I know you were both at fault for certain things, but you are both good people. Good luck. Call me if you need anything.”

The new scripts were handed out. The writers refused to kill Sadie. They felt that would give too many people satisfaction. Instead, they decided that she would leave after getting a call from a family member she thought long dead.

Y/N and Jensen finished the scene easy. The tears were real. He pulled her close and she felt herself getting lost in the familiar embrace and scent of him. She slowly pulled away and hugged Jared and Misha. After hugging everyone, she rushed to her trailer and broke down in tears.

“Y/N/N?” Jensen called her name. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” She put her hands up. “Don’t apologize for me being fired. I knew the risks of getting involved with you. Even if you hadn’t been married, this may have still happened on a smaller scale.” She wiped her eyes. “I saw the pictures on instagram. You and Danneel with the kids…”

“Y/N…”

“I knew you were seeing her. You have to for the kids.”

“She’s agreed to let you meet them.” Jensen told her. “I thought maybe next weekend.”

Y/N shook her head. “I can’t. I’m going on a trip.”

“A trip?” Jensen asked. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“We don’t really tell each other much anymore, do we?” She looked into his eyes. “I love you. I am positive I always will. I have to walk away now. I have to get out of this before it destroys me.”

“Y/N?”

“Your divorce is final, right?”

Jensen shook his head. “She decided to fight it.”

“And you never told me.” Y/N stood up and looked around the trailer. There wasn’t much she would take with her. “Jen, I can’t live like this.”

“I can’t either.” He admitted. “I love you, Y/N. I do. We did things the wrong way.”

“I think we always would have. No matter what our options were.” Y/N closed her eyes. “We had a lot of good times.”

Jensen touched her cheeks. “You are the one I want to be with.”

“Is she still fighting the divorce?” Y/N asked. Jensen nodded. “I’ve been the other woman for too long. I’ve waited patiently. I’m not angry, or bitter, or even jealous. I’m sad.” She kissed him softly. “You and I could have had an amazing story but it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Maybe it is.” Jensen took her hands. “People know about us. Let’s take a trip. Just the two of us. Please. Give me three days.”

Y/N wanted to say yes. She knew she owed it to Jensen, and to herself, to make a decision, in that moment, that would define their relationship to each other for the rest of their lives.

“I want to say yes.”

“So say yes.” Jensen had tears in his eyes. “Please. Three days.”

“I gave you years.” Y/N cried. “I understood why things were the way they were and I believed that one day, we’d be together and we’d have it all. I know better now.” She kissed him one last time. “I know you all have location shoots the rest of the week. I’ll come back to get the rest of my things.”

“Don’t do this,” Jensen pleaded. “Please.”

“I love you. I’m walking away because I love you.” She grabbed her bag and walked to the door. “One day, we may see each other again and it won’t hurt as much. I want to get to that point, Jen. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Jensen stood up and looked at her, his olive eyes dark with anger. “If you leave right now, it’s all over. Us, our friendship.”

Y/N expected that. “I’m sorry you feel that way.” She forced a smile. “I love you, Jensen. I always will.”

The door slammed and he sank down on the recliner. He shook as his tears fell. He knew all those years ago that this was where he may end up. He knew that he was playing with fire. He loved her though. He was sure that eventually, they’d figure it all out and be together.

Instead she was walking out of his life and he knew there was a good chance he would never see her again.

~*~

Misha insisted that Y/N come home with him to Washington. She needed time and she needed to think without distractions.

“We give her a week to sulk.” Misha told Vicky. “We give her a week and then we start with the tough love.”

He really thought that she’d be up and about after two days. A week after she arrived, and barely left the room she’d been occupying, Misha knocked and opened the door. “Y/N/N, it’s time to get up.”

“Misha, I…I can’t.” She cried. “I just need time. It’s been…”

“Sweetheart,” Misha walked to the bed. “I want you to know that what I’m about to do is out of love.”

Y/N sat up slightly. “What do you mean?”

Misha scooped her up and carried her into bathroom. He dropped her in the shower and turned the water on. Cold.

“Misha!” Y/N stared at him. “What the hell?”

“Your butt stinks!” Misha screamed back. “And you can’t live like this! You don’t need to live like this. You’re hurting, but you can’t let that take control. I’m going to step out. You strip, scrub your ass, and we’ll talk in the other room.”

When she joined them half an hour later, Y/N looked much better. She looked at Misha and started laughing.

“Of all the words you could have said to encourage me, you picked ‘Your butt stinks.’ And it worked.” She laughed harder. “I even brushed my teeth.”

“Good. I was going to say something about that too.” Misha smiled. “Vicky stripped the sheets..”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been a horrible houseguest.”

“Stop,” Vicky sat down. “You came here to get away. You needed the last week. That’s all we give you to mope. You have to pick yourself up and put the pieces back together.”

They spent the entire evening talking. She told them everything about her relationship with Jensen, some Misha knew, some he didn’t. She told them about the phone call to Danneel and how she realized that they were doomed from the start.

“I keep thinking I’m numb, but then I start hurting all over again. I start feeling the loss and it overwhelms me.” She cried. “I miss him.”

“He misses you.” Misha took her hand. “Y/N, he was here.” she looked up. “I made him leave. I know that wasn’t my call but I wanted you to have time. If you start to feel better and reach out to him, okay, fine. That’s your decision. You need to feel better first. You need to take some time for you.”

She smiled. “Thank you. Had I seen him I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from going back.”

“I know.” Misha sighed. “You’re going to feel better though. You’re going to be whole one day.”

“Yeah,” She nodded. “I am. It starts right now.”

~*~

Y/N smiled at the photographers calling her name. Three years. The red carpet hadn’t changed at all though. She still hated it as much as before.

Misha and Vicky waved to her and she winked. Misha had been her savior over the last few years. He and Vicky listened to her for hours, gave their opinions and advice, and finally, she booked a flight to Europe. She spent six months traveling around, ignoring everything else except what was around her until the day she ended up in Rome and face to face with him.

He looked miserable. He was as handsome as ever, but he looked miserable. Jensen told her that his divorce was final and Danneel was getting married. He asked her to join him for dinner, but she only shook her head. Y/N squeezed his hand and walked away before she did something she might later regret.

She flew to Asia the next day and spent months learning new cultures exploring. It was there she called Misha and proposed they write a screenplay.

She never expected Misha to go for it. She never expected anyone to want to appear in it. It was a labor of love and friendship and Y/N was proud of it.

“Jensen! Jensen! Stand next to Y/N!”

She turned. This was the first time she’d seen him since Rome. A huge smile grew on his face and she motioned him over. He put his arm around her and she breathed him in. His arm still held her protectively. He was still everything she’d loved years before.

Y/N was also happily married with a daughter.

“You look amazing.” Jensen kissed her cheek.

Y/N smiled at him again. “So do you. You look so much better than the last time we saw each other.”

“Congratulations on the marriage and the baby.” Jensen looked sad, but he smiled at her. “I’m glad you got your happy ending.”

“You’ll get yours, Jen.” She promised. They shared one last smile before she turned to find her husband. He winked at her. He knew she and Jensen never had true closure and it looked like they finally had that. Y/N turned her eyes toward Jensen one last time. He smiled at her and she saw something in his eyes. Jensen really was happy. Their time together, borrowed for so many years, was over. They may not have found  happily ever after in one another, but something told her that they would both be okay.


End file.
